dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize