proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
