i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
