Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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