Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
