everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
