I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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