yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
a search helicopter?!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Sorry my hands just texted you
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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