So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The Olympian is in my bed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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