yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i need some magic done to my vagina
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
