I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
