I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
