She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
