Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
