no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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