so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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