ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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