So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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