help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
