we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
