our cab driver is having phone sex.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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