she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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