Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
