So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
