I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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