apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Is it because I queefed?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
