Kiss
Puke
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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