I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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