please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize