I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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