he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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