Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
