No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
