I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize