I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
