Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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