If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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