He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
