you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can't turn off my feet"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
