So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
