I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
