between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Vodka?
Forever.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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