I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
