just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I faked an abortion last night.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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