ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
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He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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