Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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