I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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