My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
