Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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