You really coming over, don't trick.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
whose ass print is on the piano?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
