Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
