I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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