yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
