The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
