I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
