I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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