We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
