he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
