Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
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Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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