Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
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You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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