Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
