You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
