Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
