are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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