Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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