It's Friday. Sex?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
