Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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