If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
