I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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