And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
