just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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