Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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