Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
