You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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